BREAKING: Time Management Crisis
This morning, Tuesday called in sick with a case of the "temporal blues," leaving Wednesday to cover the shift with only six minutes' notice.
"I've never seen anything like it," said Mrs. Henderson's kitchen clock, still ticking but visibly shaken. "Tuesday just... didn't show up. The coffee maker started brewing Wednesday's coffee at 6 AM sharp, two hours before Monday had even finished cleaning up."
Local spoons reported feeling "chronologically displaced," while the mailbox experienced an existential crisis when Wednesday's mail arrived before Tuesday's had been collected.
By noon, Wednesday had decorated the day with extra sunshine and a gentle breeze, earning rare praise from local weather enthusiasts. "Tuesday always takes itself so seriously," noted the park bench at 5th and Main. "Wednesday brought cookies to apologize for the confusion."
The Department of Temporal Affairs has issued a statement: "These things happen. Time is not a machine, it's more like a cat. Sometimes it decides to nap in a cardboard box when you need it most."
Tuesday is expected to return tomorrow, possibly with a doctors' note written in crayon.
Weather Inside: Partly whimsical with a chance of wonder.